Doing my Part

Responsibility is something that many people cry about in this country. "People need to stand up and accept the consequences of their actions," we say. I personally wish to never have to face the consequences of my actions, or at least not to face any more of them. Of course, the bible teaches that I never do have to. And yet, I find myself over and over stepping up in front of the miniature firing squad in my head, thinking to myself, "If you had been smarter, your life would be better; if you been prepared, this stress in your life would be gone; if you had made better decisions in the past, everything in your life would go smoothly; you deserve everything you get." Now, on the one hand, I don't know that any of those statements are false. How could I, since they're all hypothetical. It does seem to me, though, that I think pretty highly of myself. That's not a contradiction, by the way. I apparently think that the path my life takes is entirely up to me. It's not that I don't think that God is in control and taking care of me. It's just that I think God takes care of me as long as I do my part. As long as I make all the best decisions, and expertly navigate the tangled maze of the future, God will bless my effort. Obviously, if I think things aren't going great, it is due to me not doing my job as leader of my life, right? Now do you see? I berate myself for doing a bad job of leading, when I was never meant to be in charge in the first place. I think to myself, "God won't help me in this situation, because I got myself into it." As if God isn't all about helping people get themselves out of the messes they have created. I am trying to manage my life when I can't even manage a 7 month old with a dirty diaper.

Now let's start again, from the right point of view. God is the one steering the bus, and just because it seems like he's pulled over for awhile doesn't mean that I should jump behind the wheel. If I am steering my life to where I think it should be I cannot, except by sheer coincidence, arrive at the place that God destined me to be. In fact, I know from experience that my desires are nearly always at conflict with God's. Therefore I can't even rely on coincidence to get me to my destination safely. If I think things in my life aren't going well, and yet I know God is in control, isn't it more likely that my idea of "well" may be skewed? I need to relax and let God do the driving, because He is the one who knows where we are going. See Mathew 6.